今天公車站看見「勿忘我女孩」,我對她投以一個透明的微笑,希望她能收到。
原本,我是很想跟她搭上同一班公車的,我只想要像以往那樣靜靜的凝望著,不求別的。但我站在公車門口,腳步停下了。我並沒上那班公車。
浮現在我腦海裡的是一首歌,像是金閣寺一般唐突的出現,擋在我和「勿忘我女孩」中間。
<Winterreise> Gute Nacht (Good night 原本是德文吧)
A stranger I arrived,
a stranger I depart again,
Maytime favoured me
with many bunches of flowers.
The girl spoke of love,
her mother even of marriage -
now the world is gloomy,
the path veiled in snow.
For my journey I may
not choose the time;
I must find my own way
in this darkness.
A mooncast shadow goes
with me as my companion
and on the white fields
I search for the footprints of deer.
Why should I stay longer,
until I am driven away?
Let stray dogs howl
in front of their master's house.
Love loves to rove -
God made us to -
from one to another;
Dear love, good night!
I will not disturb you in your dearms -
that would spoil your rest;
you shall not hear my footsteps -
soft, softly shut the door!
As I leave I shall write
upon your gate "Good Night",
so that you may see
I have been thinking of you.
(這是翻譯過後的,雖然少了押韻,無法顯出詩人謬勒當初詩句的原貌,但歌詞的意思更重要!)
就這樣,我站在黃昏的公車站牌下,看著「勿忘我女孩」漸漸遠去,不論是她的身影或是在我腦海中占據的那部分都逐漸淡去。隨後我又想起了「那首歌」的主人,<Gute Nacht>第二、三段逐漸茁壯的憤怒大概就是我曾經擁抱過的,但我不能──畢竟她是「那首歌」的主人──抱怨什麼。時間久了,人也會漸漸的轉而追求平淡。
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